


You Only Kiss Me When You're Drunk

by brbdestroyingthering



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-22
Updated: 2015-08-24
Packaged: 2018-04-10 15:42:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4397666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brbdestroyingthering/pseuds/brbdestroyingthering
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin had no idea he wanted this, had never even thought about it. But, now that it was happening and his heart was close to bursting in his chest he knew it was all he'd ever wanted.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Drunken Lips

_Chapter one: Drunken Lips_

 

Merlin made up Arthur Pendragon's bed and scowled as he did so. He knew it was his job and that Arthur was a prince, but would it kill his ego so much that he couldn't even say thanks once? He mumbled to himself and made Arthurs bed more aggressively than anyone had ever made a bed before. He finished and looked down on his work and smiled. Arthur hadn't asked him to do anything else, so he was looking forward to spending the rest of his day at home. He turned around towards the exit, only to see Arthur coming through it.  
"Merlin are you going somewhere?" Arthur asked rather snotty. But, I mean what else was he expecting from a stuck up prat like Arth-  
"Merlin, I did ask you a question. And we have reached the point where you're supposed to answer."  
Merlin smiled hastily, "Right sorry, no I'm not going anywhere."  
Arthur dropped his armor on the floor, "Fantastic you can clean my armor and once you're done with that I need you to stick around. Father is having a feast tonight."  
Merlin nodded, "Of course sire."  
Arthur smiled and looked right into Merlins eyes, "Is something wrong Merlin?"  
Merlin tore his eyes from Arthurs and looked at his worn shoes, "No everything is fine."  
He raised an eyebrow, "You can talk to me Merlin I do imagine I'm the closest thing you have to a friend."  
Merlins eyes shot up and saw Arthur smirking knowingly at him, "I have friends Arthur."  
Arthur put his hands up defensively, "Of course you do."  
Arthur turned and left before Merlin could retaliate. He supposed he was right though, which made Merlin angrier all the same.  
***  
Later that night the feast was in full swing. Some Lord was visiting Uther and he welcomed him with an unnecessary amount of food and dancing. Merlin gazed at Arthur as he finished another glass of wine, Merlin had lost count after 10. Arthur turned to talk to the girl next to him, but she did not look interested. He was nastily drunk. Merlin couldn't see his face from this angle, but he knew he was slurring his words. Suddenly Arthur got up and the moment he did he lost his balance and fell down. Merlin covered his mouth to stifle the laughs coming through him. He saw the look on Uther's face as Arthur clumsily tried to stand back up. Merlin took initiative and went to Arthurs side. He was kneeling on the ground and Merlin spoke up, "Had a little too much to drink sire?"  
Arthur looked up at Merlin and smiled sheepishly, "Help me back to my room."  
Merlin knelt down and put Arthurs arm over his shoulder and tried to stand. Arthur didn't budge, "You have to help Arthur I'm not going to carry you."  
His eyes were glossy and his mouth hung open annoyingly, "Why not? "  
But, Arthur helped by putting his hand on the table and hoisting himself up. He was up and leaning most of his weight on Merlin. Merlin felt his knees knock together as he slowly walked out of the room. Arthurs legs were sluggish so the trip to his room was painstakingly slow. Finally when they made it to his room Merlin sighed and went in. He had never been happier to see Arthurs room in his life. He collapsed on the bed with Arthur, panting from the exertion of practically dragging Arthur here. He reached up with his sleeve and wiped the sweat from his forehead. He sat up, suddenly realizing he was in bed with Arthur. His heart was pounding and he quickly got off. He took off Arthurs shoes for him and tried to walk out as quietly as he could.  
"Merlin come back for a bit."  
He turned around surprised to see that Arthur was now sitting upright. He walked to him slowly the clanking of his shoes mirroring the thud of his heart. He was right in front of Arthur and Arthur was looking at him with a sort of hunger in his eyes,  
"Merlin you're such a good servant."  
Merlin laughed audibly right in Arthurs face, but was surprised when Arthur wasn't laughing with him, "Now I know you're really drunk Arthur."  
"No really you are, I'm sorry I act like such a prat all the time. It's just that I was raised that servants were supposed to just be that. And now I'm seeing that some of the best people I know are servants."  
Although his words were slurred, the way he spoke them seemed genuine.  
"You're talking about Gwen aren't you."  
Arthur looked at Merlin through his eyelashes and smirked, "She has Lancelot now she doesn't need me."

Merlin sat next to Arthur on his bed, "You must understand that she can't wait for you forever. She's a beautiful, caring, smart woman and it was only a matter of time before someone snatched her up."  
Arthur furrowed his brows and looked at Merlin, "You're right, I should stop pining over her. I can have any girl I want and it just happens to be the girl I want is a servant girl who likes someone else."  
Merlin looked around, suddenly feeling awkward. He could feel Arthur staring at him and after a long moment he met his stare. Arthur reached out his hand and put it on Merlins cheek, "I tease you a lot Merlin."  
Merlin didn't move, afraid that any movement would scare Arthurs warm calloused hand away from his cheek. Merlin nodded, unsure of what else he could do. Merlin could see Arthur grinding his teeth, a thing he did when he was thinking. He licked his lips and in an instant he swung his legs over Merlin so he was straddling him. He grabbed Merlins wrists and pinned them by his head. Merlin struggled to get away from Arthurs hold, but knew it was impossible. Arthur was laughing and Merlin could feel his face grow hot, "Get off of me you gigantic idiot."  
After a few more moments of struggling Merlin stopped and panted, feeling defeated. Arthur put a finger under Merlins chin, so there eyes met. To Merlins surprise the eyes were coming closer and they were closing. Merlins body was alert as a pair of lips were on his. He completely stilled as Arthur Pendragon kissed him. After the initial shock of what was happening wore off Merlins lips started to kiss Arthur back. His hands were still pinned by his head, but there kissing became more fervent still. Merlin had no idea he wanted this, had never even thought about it. But, now that it was happening and his heart was close to bursting in his chest he knew it was all he'd ever wanted. All too soon Arthur stopped and Merlin felt mercilessly naked as Arthurs body pulled away from his. He let go of his wrists and got off of Merlin. Merlin couldn't move and was staring at how plump Arthurs lips looked. Merlin involuntarily licked his lips and Arthur would not meet his eyes. Merlin didn't want him to, he was too afraid he would see regret and shame in them. He was terrified Arthur didn't feel the same electric heat between their lips as he did. Merlin jumped when Arthur finally spoke in a ragged voice,  
"That will be all Merlin."  
Merlin got up, still shell shocked at what had just conspired between the two. He walked home that night in a daze of blonde hair, blue eyes, and inviting lips.


	2. Mistake

Merlin woke up to the feeling of his stomach in knots. For a moment he didn't know why and then he remembered. He felt himself blush as he thought of kissing the prince. He sat up and wrung his hands through his blanket nervously. He chewed on his lip, wondering what it would be like to face Arthur. He got up and already his legs were shaking. His head was swimming with every possibility. Merlins teeth were clenched and by the time he got to Arthurs door he felt terrified. He reached for the knob and his shaking hand rattled it loudly. Hesitantly he pushed the door open and stepped inside. Arthur was still fast asleep as Merlin had expected. He took the opportunity to look at Arthurs half naked form. His arms were toned and tanned from many days training in the sun. No one else had probably noticed, but Arthur had a dusting of freckles that ran up and down his biceps. His hands itched at his side to trace the outline of his abdomen. Merlins head was fuzzy and swarming with thoughts of touching Arthur anywhere he pleased. He was snapped out of his trance when the blonde boy started to stir. Merlin smirked ever so slightly at how young he looked in his sleep. When he was awake his expression was always stern, but in his sleep his facade faded away and he became the boy he really was. Arthur opened his eyes and automatically put up his hand to shield himself from the sun, "Merlin!"  
"I'm here sire," He said a little too eagerly.  
"Close those wretched blinds."  
Merlin did as he was told, the whole time his heart pounding. Why was Arthur acting like nothing happened to them last night?  
"I drank way too much last night," Arthur said through a groggy trance.   
"I'd say, you actually said I was a good servant."  
Merlin turned and looked at Arthur as he threw his head back in laughter, "I really was out of it."   
Merlin clenched his jaw and smiled at Arthur. For awhile they were both silent as Merlin made up his bed. He smoothed down the sheets and remembered how just last night he was pinned mercilessly underneath the weight of Arthur Pendragon right here. He could almost see the outline of their bodies in his blankets. Instinctively Merlin licked his lips and when he blinked he saw blue eyes. He was startled when he heard Arthurs voice behind him, "Merlin I feel like I did something bad last night. But, I just can't remember what. It's like I've made a big mistake."  
Merlin felt his stomach drop and wanted to yell, "You kissed me."  
But, he held his tongue and instead said, "I'm not sure what that would be sire."  
Merlin finished Arthurs bed and turned to look at his face. He still looked confused, but it would pass soon. Of course he didn't remember, Arthur would never kiss Merlin. He was so drunk he wasn't thinking. He probably thought Merlin was Gwen. Merlin dug his finger nails into his palm to distract him from the waves of emotion that were washing over him. He wanted to cry or run as far as he could away from Camelot. The pain of Arthur forgetting their passionate kiss was enough. But, it was even worse that the slight memory he had was of a mistake. His cheeks felt hot and his eyes were brimming with tears. He choked back sobs as he asked, "Will there be anything else?"  
He didn't look at Arthur when he asked.   
"I don't think so, in fact you can have the day off."  
The world blurred in front of him as he held back his tears. He rushed out of Arthurs room without even thanking him. He ran through the halls of the castle. Merlins mind was racing and he was trying to out run it. He was so embarrassed, he couldn't believe how stupid he was. He was such a complete idiot to think that the kiss between them meant anything. It was simply a drunken fervor and nothing else. Merlin shook his head, as if that would clear his thoughts. He had reached his house and desperately hoped Gaius wasn't inside. He'd know something was wrong and he wouldn't even know how to explain this. Suddenly he got an image in his head of Uther finding out about the kiss. As Merlin entered the house he was clutching his stomach from a fit of laughter. Uther Pendragon would die if he found out his son had kissed not only a servant, but a male servant. Thankfully Gaius was out and Merlin retreated to his room. He collapsed on his bed and suddenly the thought of Uther Pendragon finding out his son had kissed a boy wasn't so funny. Now it made him feel sick. He'd automatically think he is enchanted and have Merlin put to death. He realized now Arthur was worth the risk. Merlin closed his eyes and he replayed the kiss over and over in his head. Then he imagined what he would do if they kissed again. He'd tangle his fingers in Arthurs smooth blonde hair. He'd trace kisses up and down his chest and suck lightly on his neck. This time Merlin would have control and he'd kiss Arthur so tenderly. They'd kiss until their lips were swollen and they couldn't breathe. Merlin wanted to get lost in Arthurs lips and the feeling of his hands on his skin. Merlin felt himself smiling and knew exactly what he wanted. He wanted Arthur Pendragon and deep down Arthur Pendragon wanted him too. He just had to get him drunk enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry these chapters are so short! I'll try to write longer ones in the future. Again comment and give kudos if you enjoyed!


	3. Love Hurts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been about a month since I've updated this story, sorry! I promise I won't just stop posting, because I love this story and I have many ideas of what I'm going to do with it!

Weeks had passed and Merlin still hadn't figured out a way to get Arthur drunk. Another feast hadn't happened and it wasn't like Arthur went to the tavern to get drunk every night. Merlin had tossed around possibilities and options everyday since the kiss had happened. At one point he thought about confronting Arthur about it when he was sober. But, Merlin wasn't that stupid and didn't want to get hurt by him. He wanted to tell someone about this. He needed to say that every time he saw Arthur his heart quickened and he felt numb all over. This must be what it feels like when you're falling in love. And as far as Merlin could tell he was falling hard. Currently he was watching Arthur spar with one of his knights. Merlin was mesmerized by every movement. Everything about Arthur that used to annoy Merlin suddenly amazed him. He was hopelessly in love with a prince and there was nothing he could do about it. This love hurt like a constant thorn in Merlin's side. And as much as he tried to push the feelings away and ignore them he just couldn't. So far being love was not butterflies, rainbows, and heart eyes. It was internal struggle, heartache, and sadness. He was constantly getting punched in the heart by Arthur. Yet with every rising sun he loved him more. It was if the more Arthur hurt him the more Merlin wanted to love him. Every time Arthur put Merlin down and made him feel small Merlin still loved him. Merlin focused his attention back on what was in front of him. Arthur took off his helmet and Merlin could see how Arthur's blonde hair was plastered against his forehead. He smiled at the knight in front of him and Merlin's heart quickened. Arthur was coming right towards him and his eyebrows were furrowed,  
"Merlin! Come with me!"  
He didn't hesitate as he followed Arthur back into the castle. He desperately tried not to look at Arthur's butt as he walked behind him and failed. Merlin giggled to himself and followed Arthur into his room. He closed the door behind him and Arthur started taking his clothes off. Being Arthur's servant he had the privilege of seeing him in his underwear quite a lot. Arthur shed his clothes carelessly on the floor, having no idea the effect it had on Merlin. Merlin wanted to trace his fingers on Arthur's body so bad it physically hurt. Arthur cleared his throat, "Merlin a fresh shirt."  
He shook his head, "Of course, sorry sire."  
Merlin went to Arthur's closet and found a white shirt. His hands were shaking and he exhaled a long breathe before turning to Arthur. Arthur was pulling off his boots and when he was done he looked up. Arthur's eyes had a way of making Merlin quiver where he stood. He smiled even though his entire body was tense, "Your shirt."  
Arthur put up his arms and Merlin came within inches of Arthur. He smelled like sweat and summer. Merlin wanted to nuzzle against him and get enveloped in Arthur's scent. He put the arms of the shirt on Arthur's arm and tugged down. Before he realized what he was doing he smoothed the shirt down so he was running his hands all the way down Arthur's chest. His muscles felt glorious on Merlin's hands. He pulled away his hands quickly and turned around not meeting Arthur's stare. Merlin was shaking, he couldn't believe he'd just done that. His cheeks were flushed and he felt like collapsing from sheer embarrassment. He got Arthur a pair of trousers and gave them to him without looking up. Merlin felt a hand on his, "Merlin you're shaking."  
Merlin finally met Arthur's piercing eyes, "Huh?"  
He looked down at their hands, "You're shaking."  
Arthur's hands were warm and the feeling of his hand on his actually calmed him, "Sorry I haven't been feeling the best lately."  
Arthur furrowed his eyebrows at him, "Are you okay? You've been acting very strange the past few weeks."  
I'm fine except I'm in love with you.  
Of course Merlin didn't say that, instead he shook his head, "I'm fine Arthur."  
His eyes were starting to cloud with tears and Arthur turned his head curiously, "You're not fine Merlin."  
Merlin's voice quivered when he spoke, "So what if I'm not, it's not like you would care anyways."  
Arthur's jaw dropped, "Merlin..."  
Merlin was angry, he had so many pent up emotions and now they were all coming out as anger, "You care about no one but yourself Arthur Pendragon. You are a selfish, arrogant, ungrateful, idiot! You say I'm your friend, but you treat me like dirt. Yes, I'm hurting but you wouldn't even care to remember why. I'm just so done with you and everything! But still I-"  
love you Arthur Pendragon.  
Arthur's expression softened, "I'm sorry Merlin...for everything."  
Merlin wiped his tears away with his sleeve, "I didn't mean that Arthur."  
He put his hand up as if to silence him, "I deserved it. Take the day off Merlin and when you come back we can talk about what's troubling you."  
Merlin sort of just stood there for a few seconds. He stared at Arthur's back and how he just wanted to hug him and apologize. He wanted to kiss him, he wanted to press his body against his and he wanted to get lost in Arthur Pendragon. But, he didn't do any of those things. Instead he left, feeling as if his heart was slowly breaking.

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment thoughts!


End file.
